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 给你五个方法让自己自信!
发表者 tete   类型 美文欣赏 浏览次数: 1010次 发布日期 2015-11-27

  

      Sometimes we need help remembering how great we really are. Here‘s how to get it.

 

  有时自信是我们自己找不来的,下面的五个方法可以帮助你重回自信:

 

  How much do you believe in yourself? For most of the answer is: not enough. Instead of looking proudly at our accomplishments, we focus on the things we haven‘t yet done, and on the mistakes we’ve made. No wonder we find it hard to pitch big clients and investors, sell ourselves as the best, or demand the pay we deserve.

 

  你有多么相信自己的实力?大多数的回答是:并不怎么相信。很多时间,我们喜欢沦陷在失败的阴影中,忽略掉光辉的成就。难怪找不到大客户和投资者,不能成功地推销自己,老板欺负你不好好给你发工资也没处诉苦。

 

  The problem is that many of us take an unrealistically negative view of ourselves and our work, says executive coach and bestselling author Wendy Capland. “We teeter between thinking ‘I’m not enough,‘ and ’I‘m not even ready to be enough,’” she says.

 

  这些问题都是源自我们倾向于悲观看自己和工作的态度,作为执行训练师兼畅销书作者的温迪·开普兰如是说。“我们总是在’我做得不够好’和’我没准备好变得优秀’这两者之间摇摆”

 

  But we don‘t have to stay there. There are simple things we all can do to get a more clear-eyed--and positive--view of ourselves and our accomplishments. And then, Capland says, “We can step into who we already are.”Here are some simple techniques that work well for Capland’s clients, and for Capland herself. Try them next time you need to increase your own confidence:

 

  事实上我们不用这样摇摆下去。很多简单的小事都可以让我们活得明白并且积极向上。开普兰说:“我们需要发现的自我其实一直都在那里”以下便是几条在开普兰和他顾客看来都行之有效的方法。当你需要获得自信时可以试一试。

 

  1.Vent to someone who knows you well.

 

  向理解你的人倾吐心声

 

  “One thing I do for myself is I whine to people who know me about how something isn‘t working or I’m not getting the clients I want, or not taking big strides toward my next goal,” Capland says. “And then they remind me of what I bring to the table, and my gifts and talents, and look how much I‘ve done.”

 

  “可能有些事情不如预期那么顺利,也可能是我没能搞定客户,或者是我在前进的路上踌躇不前的时候,我会做的一件事是向知道我难处的人倒倒苦水。”开普兰说,“然后他们会告诉我,我其实已经做了很多,给我指出我的禀赋,让我看清我已经做出的贡献。”

 

  Chances are, there are people in your own life who know how much you‘ve accomplished and can remind you what those accomplishments are when you’re feeling frustrated or helpless. Talking to these people is one of the best things you can do to give yourself the confidence you need.

 

  其实就是这样,当你无助而颓丧时,你生命中总会出现理解你的辛劳,告诉你你的成就的人。和这种人谈话能让你的自信感倍增。

 

  2.Make an already-done list

 

  做一份“已完成”清单

 

  Many of us live by to-do lists. (Mine has 14 items on it right now and growing.) But what about an already-done list that takes a look at the tasks you‘ve complete and all the projects at work and elements of your life that are working really well for you? I’m willing to bet there are a lot of things in your life that you‘re very proud of, and most of them wouldn’t be there without your hard work, dedication, and love.

 

  大多数人都要做“计划做”清单(我的清单一般有14件事情然后越变越多)。但如果是做一份“已完成”清单,记录下你圆满完成、颇有成就、让你感觉很好的事情呢?我会很肯定的说你生命中很多的“已完成”都会让你十分自豪,而他们的落实也都少不了你的努力、风险和热爱。

 

  So make your list, and check it twice. Just writing down the things you‘re proud of, and that are already working well for you, will give you some perspective on where you are and what you still have to do.

 

  所以造一份清单吧,反复查看一下。把你所为之自豪,对你身心有益,对你现在的工作与生活有益的事情记录下来吧。

 

  3.Interview 10 people.

 

  采访十个人

 

  Find 10 people who know you and have worked with you or who have interacted with you in other ways, such as at your children‘s school. Look for people who are familiar with your leadership style and how you do things. Ask if you can have a few minutes of their time as part of a self-assessment exercise, and if they agree, interview them and either record the conversation, or take notes of what they say.

 

  找十个了解你、与你一起工作或是以前和你有过联系的人(例如中学时期的好友),也就是熟悉你领导方式和办事风格的人。询问是否能占用几分钟的时间对他们做自己的人格检视,如果他们同意,采访他们并且记录下谈话内容,或是对他们的回答做笔记。

 

  Ask them, ‘What do you see as my strengths? What am I good at?’“ Capland says. Most people will respond with something like, ”Are you freaking kidding me?“ she says. And then they‘ll tell you many things you’re good at, some of which you may not even be aware of. ”The truth is, everybody sees us better than we can see ourselves,“ she says.

 

  问他们这样的问题“你觉得我的长处是什么?我擅长什么?”开普兰建议道。很多人可能听到后是这个反应,“你搞毛线啊?”她说。然后他们便会告诉你你擅长什么,有些你可能并不知道自己拥有的天赋。“事实上真的是旁观者清。”她说

 

  4.Meditate

 

  冥想

 

  Meditation is good for your stress levels, your decision-making powers, and even your brain function. And it‘s an effective way to get beyond your overly negative view of yourself as well, Capland says. “It helps me to quiet myself down from all the craziness and my schedule and the circular conversation I have with myself about how I suck,” she says.

 

  做冥想对减压、提高决策能力,甚至是增大头脑运转效能都有好处。而且这也是一种让你走出消极情绪的好办法,开普兰说:“冥想帮助我从我的疯狂想法,工作日常中平静下来,让我审视自己的不愉快。”

 

  Meditation needn‘t be a formal part of your day (although it is for Capland). A few minutes at a time, or even a few momentary meditation breaks throughout your day can make a difference and even change your outlook.

 

  冥想不一定要成为你每日生活的必须(虽然这是开普兰的必须)。每次几分钟的冥想,就算只有一点点有意义的思想突破也可以让你的生活变得不同,甚至转换你的精神面貌。

 

  5.Try coaching

 

  尝试训练

 

  “Meditation does quiet me down and that helps, but it‘s not quite enough,” Capland says. So when she needs to silence the naysayers in her own head, she turns to a coach of her own. As an executive coach herself, this is a natural option. That said, coaching can be extremely effective for anyone, as I know from my own experience.

 

  “冥想确实能让我平静下来,但我觉得这并不够,”开普兰说。所以每次他想要让脑子沉静下来时,她都会寻找导师。对于本身就是一个执行教练的她来说,这是一个自然而然的事情。指导对很多人来说都是很有意义的,起码从我个人而言是这样。

 

  When I interviewed Capland for a column earlier this year, we hit it off. We decided as a follow-up that she would coach me and I would write about it. I‘m not as confident as I’d like to be, but our coaching sessions are a huge push in the right direction.

 

  今年,当我因为专栏的缘故采访开普兰时,我们达成了一致。我们决定用她做我的教练,我来记录写作的方式完成专栏。我并不是一个很自信的人,但这样的私教课程确实是我在正确道路上的一个强大助推力。

 

  “Having a coach has made a huge difference for me and I‘m hoping for the people I coach as well,” she says. “I am a regular reminder of how capable you are, how masterful you are, and how you’re already fine just as you are--you‘re just taking yourself to the next stage in your journey.”

 

  “教练让我的变化很大,我也希望人们可以试着想我这样做。”她说,“我是一个会时不时提醒你你多么有能力、多么有所精通的人,你已经做得很棒了——你只需要迈向人生的下一个阶段罢了。”

 

  Or to put it another way, she says, “I am a relentless cheerleader.” And isn‘t that something all of us can use?

 

  或者换句话说,她是这样说的:“我是教练,也就是一个一直动力十足的啦啦队长。”确实啊,我们都可以做做尝试。

 


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